even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
