thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
