how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
