Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
