Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
