just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
