Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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