Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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