Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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