We're like a lot better than the average bears
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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