Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
