That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
