You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
