So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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