My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
