You just made me feel so damn special
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
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I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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