Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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