Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
