i wish peter jackson would direct porn
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
