Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
