I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
