y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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