There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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