I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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