How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
