Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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