I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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