i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
