he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
