I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
