You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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