some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
