New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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