physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
