Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
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