goodnight i made you a song goodbye
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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