So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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