Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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