Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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