I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize