My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize