You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize