He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
