hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
