people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Edward fifth and chaser hands
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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