my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
