bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
