Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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