You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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