Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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