oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Your cock deserves a montage
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
