yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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