Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
