I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
