she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
