well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
