I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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