Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
